My only resolution this year is to tweet at least one pun every day through 2010. They can typed or a picture – all that matters is updating with SOMETHING every day.

This is for two reasons:

1. it’s achievable and should hopefully lead to me feeling more creative generally
2. I like puns

Now that this month’s over, I thought I’d whack them all into a post as a permanent archive and Statement of Intent that now I’ve started, I might as well carry on to the bitter end.

I’d love to know if anyone reading this has any favourites, otherwise, I’ll see you in February!

January 1st – January 31st 2010:

For ‘Getting Involved in Other People’s Business’ you deserve a meddle.

Ate a leftover Christmas tree and some bits got stuck in my throat.  Now I have tinsellitus.

Guy Ritchie is a lot more confident about his new wife, Calmonna.

Just had my heart broken by a can of paint and feeling very emulsional.

I got my mate coal for Christmas, as I didn’t think he’d mined it.

Before he went mad, he used to love the smell of flowers.  No use being scentimental, though.

Playing poker and my mate raised me his mother’s sister.  Trust him to up the auntie.

My housemate burnt all my aromatic sticks without asking me first. I’ve never been so incensed.

The catastrophic Shakespeare Convention suddenly went from bard to verse.

Been drinking yoghurt for hours. Completely mullered.

Prince Charles’ speech from inside Vesuvius was just a load of hot heir.

Laziest 80s pop star? Billy Idle. Craziest 80s pop star? Silly Idol. Most serene 80s pop star? Billy Idyll.

Got a bit energetic trying to snog a fish and ended up pulling a mussel.

Didn’t see the lizard that bit me, but heard he got run over a few days later. Karma chameleon, innit.

Looking for bargains in DFS. Sofa, so good.

The organised wizard kept his potions phialed away.

My polo cattle give me the best mints meat.

When travelling by air, vultures must be careful not to exceed their carrion luggage allowance.

Got into a food fight at an Indian takeaway. All started with some argy-bhaji.

Seen lots of poems about virtue, but hardly any vice versa.

Warning: Using a tomahawk toothbrush can lead to severe axey-dental injuries.

Guard your classical music: thieves are opera-ting in this aria.

Drilling is boring.

Now on sale: Mary Celeste Ice Cream – Be Desserted

Playing golf at a party and I just got a birdie, beating my nemesis. It’s a social foe par I can live with.

It’s Kanye’s birthday tomorrow – I’ve got him a present, but it’s not rapped.

Lovers: if at first you don’t succeed, tryst, tryst, tryst again.

“Stand and deliver!” the highwayman declared, adamantly.

My singing sounds quite wooden and I think it’s to do with my vocal timber.

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ps feel free to join in on Twitter and epic thanks to everyone who already has (hashtag is #punliners)